A Lot on My Mind & Free Writing

A lot of people kill their dreams before they even try.  A lot of people kill their creativity before it has even hatched.  The critic in us, the self doubt, the confusion all play parts in what ultimately becomes a broken promise to ourselves.  Why?  Why would anyone put themselves through that?  The thought that I'm going to do something but then not do it.  I'm going to start playing an instrument.  I'm going to learn to be more creative, be more free.  I'm going to learn to draw or paint.  What's holding you back?  An excuse of I don't have time?  An excuse of I'm not good enough?

I've been playing guitar for 10 years and I still don't feel like I'm anywhere I want to be with my playing.  There's so much to learn and so many things that I have no idea how to do.  But the thing is I've come a long way since I've started.  And that's what's important.  I play guitar for me.  I enjoy playing for others.  I enjoy creating for others but at the end of the day I do it because it's something that I want to do.  I've thought about busking more recently.  I will definitely be doing it this summer.  I'm interested to see if I can draw a crowd and engage complete strangers in my music.

So if you have been wanting to learn something creative, go after it.  What do you have to lose?  That's the thing, we create pain for ourselves based on some sort of attachment to the fantasy that we've created.  It's a psychic pain.  We get to hold onto our story of why we're never going to be great at a certain skill.  Instead of doing that I encourage you to go after what you want.  Don't doubt yourself.  Stay true to your own decisions.

A reminder to yourself as you progress.  You're going to feel like quitting.  You're going to feel like giving up.  Remember you've gotten through far worse.  Or if this is the worst thing you're going through you can use it to guide you through future struggles.  You can help others get through their struggles.

I've been through a lot in my life and creativity has always helped me through whatever I might be going through.  No one really knows what you're going through and that's ok.  Your pain and story are most important to you anyways.  The day will be brighter tomorrow.  You'll smile again.  You will always have memories.  You will always have those pleasant thoughts.

Know who you are and what you want.  Go after it.  Stop trying to live up to other people's expectations and start living up to your own expectations.  Your life will be far more fulfilling.  Besides your standards of yourself are going to be far greater than anyone else's standards and expectations of you.

Free write to free your soul.  Free write to be vulnerable.  Free write to clear your head.  Free write until you're dead.  Well maybe not that last one.  But I remember reading something once, I think it was in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, about how even if a bomb was going to go off or a fire was going to burn down the house if she was free writing at least she knew she'd go while free writing.  Create in such a way that you would be happy just to create.

Your creation liberates others.  Your creation may be no good, but that's ok.  I think about when I was a child and I created masterpieces out of finger-paints.  Or dazzled a coloring book with crayons.  I colored inside the lines and I was very particular about how things looked.  Those amazing disasters were praised by parents and teachers alike.  Great job.  These are amazing.  You're amazing.  When did we lose that self-confidence in our work?  When did we lose that confidence in ourselves and our creations?  What if you heard that all the time?

And maybe some of you didn't have that type of encouragement but I'm sure at some point there was someone who believed in something you've done.  If not I'll be the first one to say, I believe in you.  I believe you can do it.  And if you don't believe that you can create something great.  I believe it and I know it.

Your destiny is waiting.  Stop watching other people's lives and dreaming yours was like their's.  Start inspiring yourself to live out your dreams.  Decide today will be the day that everything changes for you.  Decide today that you will be great at all you do.

Thanks for listening and my intention is that you create something great.  If you want to share what you were inspired to create based on my free writing.  Feel free to drop me a message in my living room of the internet.  (The comments section) - thank you Tim Ferris

Last Kiss Cover - Singer Songwriter Acoustic - Ransom Jones

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